Spark..

There's not an explanation available on how creatures acknowledge affection. It is often summarized, in its truest sense, as a feeling of excitement, a cringe, or butterflies to some. People are often unaware of the said feeling until they recognize this certain little thing called spark.

This spark thing, essentially, cannot be forced nor averted. Trust me, I tried and I failed. As much as I'd like to believe that I am in full control of how I want things to be - still, the feeling takes over you and you end up finding yourself in the most foolish way any sane man can think of.

Let me tell you that I'm the most coward person you'll ever meet. Not that I'm weak - but because i hate losing things/experiences/people I typically have just because I want to go a mile further. Also, I only know a single person who made me this afraid to fall. Reason? Just because I know that when I let myself, I'd hurt myself through the process. It's way risky and I'm not prepared for another heartache.

I eventually did. Why on earth will I say no to things and events that I know will truly make me happy? That person made me believe that we have our exact match, that the longer you wait, the better you'll be rewarded as I thought I found what exactly I am looking for. Now, I'm reaping the things that I'm most dreadful of. I'm now becoming a master of coping and moving on.

Through it all, I can say that the best feeling in the world is actually realizing how much you like another being, not because you're physically attracted and all other petty reasons, but because you understand how much that person complements you. I'm more than willing to shout and tell the whole world how we fit well together, but luckily, the situation just won't go the way I want it to be.

I have never even told that person how everything meant to me. Call me mushy, cheesy, and all that, but things left unsaid always get the best out of me and here I am, writing it all down in my blog which never fails me.

There would be a thousand more people you'll meet in the entirety of your life, but only a few or maybe just a single one can turn your world upside down and shake you down to your roots. The irony in the 'spark' concept actually rests on the fact that you may have experienced it from a person that you thought meant forever - however, that person may not actually find that spark within you, but with somebody else.

Nicole.

I don't know where to start. I don't even have a clue where all this started.. I'm not even good at words.. All I know is that you make me smile.

You got me with this. It took me years to realize. Now I don't even know if I can bear to see you with another person again. It's this feeling that bugs me every time you talk of another guy. It's selfish, I know. But what can I do? I even lost to it. It bugs me. It makes me feel awkward. It doesn't make me feel good.

Now, I dunno if you've met a guy as sheepish as me. I'm not good at this, I tell you. But a better part of me makes you want to stay. To never leave me for another. To never let go of you until you're the one who would want to. I may not be able to prove it through ordinary actions that you would wanna see, but I have my ways. Just trust me on this.